you are already a voice inside my head.

Monday, July 09, 2007

Hm.. people starts scolding me in my tagboard for not updating my blog.
Alrite.. here goes..

Well, i was lazying on my lazy bones all this while, duno wad to blog, so yea, havent been skipping it. Ain't interested to even read blogs nowadays..LOL

Orite, for the past weekends, was picking up blading as one of my past time-still learning though. Blading is a good sport, cos it made me sweat without using too much energy. :D As lazy as ever.
Went jogging at bedok stadium alone too, A FEW times nia though. Ha.. lousy me, getting from bad to worst, the last time i went, i could only run for 4 rounds non-stop. LOUSY FREAK MAN!
Hm.. im suspecting that it has got something to do with the music im listening to while jogging. I used to jog for 6-7 rounds w/o stopping when i listen to trance. E last time i was jus listening to some pop music. SO.. it must be.

Saturday, 07.07.2007
Met my sis near her place, we are suppose to attend sandra's wedding that night at rendezvous. So in the afternoon, we went for semi tai tai cum auntie practice. WASH N BLOW our hair. -_- A very auntie action we thought. LOL. Um..den i told her about wad i want for my new room, she thought the idea was nice, but ex. haha.. in search of something cheaper. Hope i can find a cheap and nice chandelier for my room. :D excited. And i'll prolly have a WALK-IN wardrobe! Woo!!!
LALALAlalala~!!! cant wait!

Oh ya, anyway, we were late for the dinner. Opps, its suppose to start at 745pm as indicated, but we were still at her place dolling at 8pm. -_- HAa.. we reached at ard 840, and we only missed the cold dish, so, lucky we didnt go early. :P we wouldn't want to wait there man.

Yea, after wedding, joined garry n his frens at TRADERS, his buddy's wedding night too. They were trying to make him drunk, but failed. Heard his buddy is a freaking good drinker.

Hm.. alot of ppl got married that night, cos of the auspicious date. 7.7.07. 7 is believed to be a lucky number i supposed. Celine was thinking of holding her wedding wif gallen 2 yrs later, on the 09.09.09 nice man. Hope the cute couple will get married, and i'l b her sISter! JIE MEI!

Hm.. my eyes recently have some defects. Went to the optician yesterday, and i got astigmatism. Optician says the inside of my left eye abit croked, defected, which caused my eye sight defected, and will be having shadow visions. IT WILL NEVER BE CURED. and that i have been relying alot on my right eye, and causing my left eye in active,and that may be one of the reason for my blurred vision. hais.. i feel like a disable, cant see clearly even with my specs. :(
think im goin to train my left eye, cover my right eye, and see with my left eye. I'll have to train for sometime i guess.. BLESS ME!

Yup, im in my lab now, blogging. Did a write up on my project jus now. Well, just simply proving that i does my work. :) not slacking 24/7.
Oh ya, the GST credits. Argh! 250bucks is not enough man.. Im super duper leong now AGAIN~ I havent got anything for myself. except a top. I wanna get a DKNY watch, A bag, and his present. I duno wad to do man.. ANYONE WANNA DONATE some money? :D

3:29 PM

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

:)
well, i had my disappointments on my birthday.
but its cleared now.. Song Wen aka meiyi my bestie had it cleared up.
We had our usual fightings, kpkb, and had it solved.
We clear our misunderstandings, and yea our friendship definately grew stronger.

Met up with her in the evening after my school. We went to parkway, she accompanied me to have my dinner, and we sat at starbucks for our chatting session.
Its amazing how we could talk non-stop. Its really scary, cos its rightfully "NON-STOP".

Bf read my blog and found out the truth about why i didn't meet up with the gang on saturday.
Well, it upsets him to noe that our group was kinda childish while handling these stuff.. it jus a simple dinner. Well, i got to admit, and i hope our friends can accept our bf like how we accepted theirs. Wouldn't it be great to have meetings with friends n bf at the same time? in a way, u wouldnt be neglecting friends, and bf, vise versa. And i would love to show my bf my friends, to earn trust in a way, and so that he will know what kinda ppl im hanging out with. I feel trust needs to be earned,not given.I like to be transparent in relationships, thats me.

But after explaining, and with the help of my bestie (cos im not good in expressing,i gan jiong), we sorted that matter again, and yes, happy living.

Its good to hear that i am her plaster, and i got the ability to make her feel better. I'm glad i somehow made her feel better in times of need. Well, i dun want her to cry her nites off by herself, wanna see her happy. So dear god, let her have her rainbow soon after this downpour.

Oh, bestie and i have things patched up, and had our stuffs updated. Its good to hear that she's putting more effort in her work, and trying to change for the better. I would love to help her along the way. :) promised to help her go through her hard times, we shall meet up more often together with my bf.

Wow i feel blessed to have my sweet bf, and my bestie who is and will always be there.
I'm happy that everything is getting better day by day. And ya my school work.
Well, think my team members are getting on fine, and the guys promised to lessen their gaming when we got task to do, and that would definately do us good. We really have been slacking too much. To be honest, we have been slacking ever since school term starts.

Oh ya, today i saw tat wee outside school gate. Haha, its good to have friends that care, small actions do counts. I realise we should notice all the small things that ppl do for u, so you will still be reminded that the world is beautiful despite of all the hardships we people have to go through. Its not that bad afterall. =)

Im blessed with bf that dotes me, that tries his way to care about how i feel.He took care of me when im sick, dun mind e hassels to buy drinks n pills for me,constant checks of my temperature when im down with fever. He make sure he'll send me home despite the distance, and tiring concentration he needs to have while driving after a tiring day at work.And all the small things he does for me. :)

Im blessed with my bestie that always will be there,and though we had quarrels, she tries to understand my stand everytime when she calmed down. Well, she's definately trying to change for the better, she needs time, so ppl pls try to notice that,and stop reprimanding her.

Im blessed with friends that care, and that will do small things to make me feel touched. You noe who u r, ppl like yvette,tat wee, ah girl, and well, too many to be mentioned.

Im blessed with my lovely sister and mummy, that love and cares for me non-stop for the past 21 yrs.

Wad can i say, im jus blessed! :)

1:46 AM

Sunday, May 20, 2007

18th May 2007
its my 21st bday..
Well, this birthday, i saw some real friends tt reali care, and though i got to admit, we ain't very close, but they took the hassel to make things happen on my birthday. it reali touched me man.

Its tat wee,ah girl and yvette.
yesterday, the tat wee suddenly called me to check my whereabouts in school.
Yvette followed up by calling me to go out of the class n meet up..
There when i walked out, they were outside e class wif a birthday cake, and sang a birthday song for me.
Wah im damn paiseh can..
Frankly speaking, to me, they are my polymates. We were in better terms few semester back, but in the recent semester, we didnt go for lunch as often due to our different scedules. And yet they bother to make this small celebration for me. Aww.. aint that sweet?
Man really touched me with simple stuff, jus the thought, and remembering my birthday..
thanks again guys!

Then, my classmates, they remembered my birthday.
Its peter, tini, shin yun, joel and wei bin.
We were in a course together, ya, so thats why we r together.
i got to be honest that we normally hanged out in different groups, me shinyun and the other guys hang out more often, while peter n gang join another group.
But mayb cos tis time we were in this course, we talked more, n ya, enjoyed time together more.
They too remember my brithday, and got the class to sing me a song, and ya, basically making me damn paiseh can.
But well, i appreciate, its the thought tt counts.. :)

Thursday im supposed to meet meiyi n gang. But well, think its my luck.
Birthday on friday, which means more when celebrating it on thurs nite.
All my friends hav work n school e next day, and i got to attend school for course too.
So well, i kinda lost my mood for birthday la..nothing to do also.
So after class,wanted to meet them just fr a simple dinner.
But everyone is tired, and aint free. So i pushed everything to saturday nite. Mood in e first place was partially crashed, and then the thought of causing hassel to them.. :S i tink cancelling it wil be good.

Well, anyway.
i tot i could being my bf to meet my frens for my birthday celebration.
I told them before hand, and they even encouraged, and acknowledged.
Then last minute, they asked me not to bring him along, said the gang felt akward.
of cos i cant, cos it wouldnt be nice for my bf also. so then i got this as a reply.
"then sorry lo, we have to cancel the celebration, cos the gang is against the idea."

Haa.. so much of my celebration wen i cant bring my bf? and when i suppose to be the main concern, why cant things go according to my wish? i dun understand. And even so, they should tell me earlier, and no last minute, and put me in a difficult position isnt it? and then got blamed for being a lousy friend. WOW oh wow.
and friday nite, once she heard that im gog fishing wif my bf n frens instead of my sister, she thought i should leave e time for them for my bday. yes, birthday is impt, but i like fishing too. im gog fr things i like on my bday, and wads wrong?

ok, mayb the problem really lies with me.
not being a friend.
sorry cos i really cant see wher my problem is.
i cant see e prob myself, can i?
i just feel alot of times, i got to do things that ppl like, think the way ppl think, otherwise grumblings start coming in again. sometimes, its tiring.

My bf is sweet. Yes, he tried to make my birthday something. When everyone is busy, no one doing my bday fr me, he brought me for dinner, bring me to mos, asked his few fren to join, and brought me a cake. i didnt wanna club. but theres reali nothing to do. And since ther is nothing much he can do, he duno much of my frens either, thats the best that he can do, to make it not tt cui.
He brought me my first fishing rod and reel. i have been hoping to go outsea fishing with gang for so long, and wanted to go fishing on my birthday. But previously, there's some prob some where. out usual boat was nt available. My sweet bf went looking fr boat high and low for me. called the boat man up to keep asking and all. So ya, managed to fished on friday night. Alot of other small small matters made my bf so sweet. i reali appreciate the thoughtful small things he did..

12:32 AM

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

i believe i havent been honest to myself for quite sometime.
i duno wads within me, but slight emo, slight emptiness.
Have been having cravings for beer quite often recently.
though im reali tired after a day in school, after a day at work, but i hate to turn in early.
Im in fact making myself more and more tired everyday.
Even im staying at home, i'll slack at my com, nt chatting, jus staring blank, and listen to songs.
Ya, thats how bored i am. Or should i say, tts how tired i am, but unwilling to close my eyes to rest.
Ya, i can even go kopitiam to drink up alittle, to ease my cravings.

Went mos on monday nite. I didnt wanna go at first, but well.. e girls complained that i havent been meeting them for vry long. So i tot i should go catch up a little. Yea.. Nice meeting them still.

Well, i noe there's no point in continuing, but i will still miss. That's normal i guess..
That day i saw Golden Pillow, then i rem some stuff..
Then i tot of wala, tot of lotsa.. But everything is under control la..
I hate to admit, but i tot i should be honest.
Honest, but i still really hate to talk about it.
Guess he is leading on well..
So he will not blow his temper too often, cos he doesnt have to travel so far, so his leg wun hurt for long distance drive. Petrol cost run lower.

I fear, i dun like to see an angry person, i prefer things to be solved by communication. I find quarrels, shoutings,scolding tiring.. I thought talking things out might work better. But apparently we cant. The more shoutings, the more grumpy face i see, the more i fear.

Well, i wanna go fishing!!!
I used to go fishing so often, and we both enjoy fishing alot..
I like the peace i have then, jus like fishing. I'm always waiting for the fish to hav their prawns..
haha..
But now :(

Jjacky said they wil plan a fishing trip soon. But im afraid if i go, he will then not go. I dun wan that man.. Somehow i wish to see him la.. i miss fishing wif him la..with the gang too.. Edwin bro and gang..

enjoy my SINGLEHOOD..I thought single then i should go out more often, noe more ppl. But apparently, i find myself reluctant la. Basically jus reluctant to meet and noe new ppl. Prolly bcos packed wif school work, packed wif work wif in e weekends. Available slots are only after school in e weekdays, but again, i'll b too tired then. I havent been resting much since 20th April? Its onli during 1st may i got to sleep till evening. But i feel its a waste la.. Shouldnt waste the time like this. I should go for some jog or swim yea?

Lalala.. Wait till i find time for myself again.
Oh ya! wad i lack is time for myself~
Relaxing alone sounds good.

Emo shit.. Haha..prolly meeting my sister soon, and drink after house viewing man.
Oh ya, she said we shall share and get mom a gold ring this mother's day!
In debt la.. Pay her after i start working..

3:16 PM

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

damn pissed in school today..
The buses in the morning are so packed, and i got to wake up at 730 everyday from now on, so that i will have enough time to travel to school.. REally damn shag. I haven't got enough sleep for the past 1 week? And either work or school.. Argh.. i feel damn sick. I can feel im getting sick soon..

The damn supervisors swapped my grp's proj with another grp. Fark im damn pissed can, cos it wasted our effort. We were so damn excited, all ready, and already thinking hard for our projects.. And now? fuck them. really. fuck them.
Fucking unprofessional, keep on changing details since last sem. Fuck la.. Im really boiling, it jus make me lost interest in doing swee projects la.

Pissed and tired. Fuck it. And i cant rest, tmr im goin for product training after school, and working in e weekends. No time at all.

10:04 PM

Monday, April 23, 2007

And so again..
Guess it still didnt didnt work out well la..

Anyway, im dead beat..
Went to school today, and was nearly late again.
Luckily kar wai called me, cos he reached early, and thought i would b ther for smoking session while waiting for time to report. But then, i was still in bed.. Luckily la..

Had briefings, and met the supervisor for more details bout our grp projects..
I'm attached out, not everyday though, still waiting for the schedule to be out. At times when we doesn't have to report to e office, we will be in school doing projects.
We would have chance to meet clients and the surgents, and we might have chance to go msia for roadshows. Seems like a pretty good deal, great exposure and experience in a field that i dun have any knowledge on. Well, that's where learning takes place isn't it?
At first, i grumble alot, about group mates and all, but nw, i tink it should be alright la.. I'll try to work with my other group mates. Needless to say, nutt is a no prob la..

The only bad thing is that the office is at sin ming, near bishan. Damn la.. travelling is really a hassel, cos there's no straight bus.. Sigh! Luckily there's nutt to give me a ride when we need to go there. Of cos i'll share his burden la.. his petrol and all.. If not, its a big headache.

However, tmr i will have to find my own way, cos he's sick.. Get well soon nutt!

Catch up with alot of my classmates during school today, and got to know different projects that they have to work on. From coming out with a robort, to fuel cell thingy..
Really, its a big headache this sem la.. We can't slack, have to constantly follow up our projects.. Term breaks burnt, everything burnt. But well, i feel its kinda challenging la.. Looking forward in working on the projects allocated to me. Though i noe it spells trouble.

I've been rather into trances lately, listening everyday.. Nice ones.
Yawn! Dead Beat + Heavy eye lids!
Heading to bed soon, im too tired to even talk..Yawn!

9:58 PM

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Alot of times, i noe im pushing my emotions down to the least.
I tried reali hard to control, to hide.
I tried all my means, cos i noe, i must not turn back.
The things i wanna see ain't there, and after this 1 week plus, its proven it won't happen.

I know i appeared pretty strong, i know i did it just right.
But at times, i reali need someone to listen, and allow me to pour some tears.
But, i cant find anyone suitable, or mayb i just don't wanna pour any to anyone.
I'll just have to get stronger, and i believe in no time, everything will go smooth sailing.

Each and everyday, i kept myself entertained with shows, movies, and rest.
Everyone's working, everyone's busy.
I'm left at home, doing nothing but slack.
I dun wanna bother anyone, jus bcos im in this state.
Cos i reali understand, understand tt this kinda left out just cant be blamed.
But, reali am kinda bored.
Yet again, i dun reali like to go to places when im aint in the mood.
Contradicting? But of cos.
I dun even understand wad i want, how would u noe.

Well, mayb i jus need some things to occupy my time, and jus keep me busy, so that i cant think of anythin else.

Anyway, yea its 6.53am now.
Meiyi is sleeping over at my place.
Its about soon she gonna wake up alrdy..
I hope she wont whine late.. I can't take those whining.. :P
Especially when the house is so darn quiet now.
The whining will sure wake my mom up.

6:39 AM