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Thursday, May 11, 2006

Just read meiyi's new posting..i feel so fucked up..anyway wad ever things i do,i got my reasons..ah fuck..u all wont understand.and i also dont feel like telling anymore.Or maybe is i dun understand wad she wan,cant give wad she wans..We might be on diff track now la..No matter how much i say,now she wont understand la..i dun know why i make her always feel tis way.Well..yes..maybe im reali a shit person. i feel so fucking shitty.Ya..think we better off not be friends..im too fucked up to u,and i dun have tt much time to always assure alot of things. Argh..fuck..i feel fucking shitty. Think thats the end la..im a lj lang la..sian..shitty.

this coming birthday,i dunno wad i wanna do..nothing in mind,got to plan it myself. u guys know i hate planning..argh..maybe i jus stay home and sleep la..my life time first clay birthday.Wad is worst is my birthday and mom wont be at home.She'll be away for 8 days or so..hai~ sian..

Birthday to me is freaking impt,it should be exciting,it should be happy..But now,i jus dun feel any excitement,dont feel like having the birthday,jus feel freaking shit.

Since young i feel tt i am a suey ji (jinx).Whoever that is close to me,whoever who is with me,they wont have any good ending,wont have any enjoyment.I prove this to be true.When i first join that group,one after another start falling apart.Now that i have left that group,everything goes back in peace,everybody is happy..im glad that they are..im glad that meiyi feels treasured now,cos last time she feels very bad,last time everyone jus dun show care to her,but now,its a diff thing..and that is very good,cos i dun wanna see ppl treat her bad,she dont deserve all those shit.

Now,im getting very lazy i n school,keep missing lesson.I really wonder is bcos i lack of sleep,or i sleep too much..i keep on over slept,and miss school. Argh..its only the 3rd week of sch,and im recieving warning letter!

I fucking dont noe wad has regine become.Pissed!
Was planning to have dinner wif ah pek,ND they all next week or tis sun,to like kinda celebrate my birthday?but aiya..im rather reluctant..feel there isnt a need. Argh..i feel very bad now..And roger is out sending his mom to the temple,den to beach road cos her mom is goin to malaysia later.

Hai...Pissed,fucked up,peckish,disgusted. i dunno why i suddenly have so many feelings inside me..feel like a loser?studies going down the drain,some event coming up which make me feel like shit instead of happy.

Yea..think i'll cancel alot of things la.. -_-




8:25 PM