you are already a voice inside my head.

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

:)
well, i had my disappointments on my birthday.
but its cleared now.. Song Wen aka meiyi my bestie had it cleared up.
We had our usual fightings, kpkb, and had it solved.
We clear our misunderstandings, and yea our friendship definately grew stronger.

Met up with her in the evening after my school. We went to parkway, she accompanied me to have my dinner, and we sat at starbucks for our chatting session.
Its amazing how we could talk non-stop. Its really scary, cos its rightfully "NON-STOP".

Bf read my blog and found out the truth about why i didn't meet up with the gang on saturday.
Well, it upsets him to noe that our group was kinda childish while handling these stuff.. it jus a simple dinner. Well, i got to admit, and i hope our friends can accept our bf like how we accepted theirs. Wouldn't it be great to have meetings with friends n bf at the same time? in a way, u wouldnt be neglecting friends, and bf, vise versa. And i would love to show my bf my friends, to earn trust in a way, and so that he will know what kinda ppl im hanging out with. I feel trust needs to be earned,not given.I like to be transparent in relationships, thats me.

But after explaining, and with the help of my bestie (cos im not good in expressing,i gan jiong), we sorted that matter again, and yes, happy living.

Its good to hear that i am her plaster, and i got the ability to make her feel better. I'm glad i somehow made her feel better in times of need. Well, i dun want her to cry her nites off by herself, wanna see her happy. So dear god, let her have her rainbow soon after this downpour.

Oh, bestie and i have things patched up, and had our stuffs updated. Its good to hear that she's putting more effort in her work, and trying to change for the better. I would love to help her along the way. :) promised to help her go through her hard times, we shall meet up more often together with my bf.

Wow i feel blessed to have my sweet bf, and my bestie who is and will always be there.
I'm happy that everything is getting better day by day. And ya my school work.
Well, think my team members are getting on fine, and the guys promised to lessen their gaming when we got task to do, and that would definately do us good. We really have been slacking too much. To be honest, we have been slacking ever since school term starts.

Oh ya, today i saw tat wee outside school gate. Haha, its good to have friends that care, small actions do counts. I realise we should notice all the small things that ppl do for u, so you will still be reminded that the world is beautiful despite of all the hardships we people have to go through. Its not that bad afterall. =)

Im blessed with bf that dotes me, that tries his way to care about how i feel.He took care of me when im sick, dun mind e hassels to buy drinks n pills for me,constant checks of my temperature when im down with fever. He make sure he'll send me home despite the distance, and tiring concentration he needs to have while driving after a tiring day at work.And all the small things he does for me. :)

Im blessed with my bestie that always will be there,and though we had quarrels, she tries to understand my stand everytime when she calmed down. Well, she's definately trying to change for the better, she needs time, so ppl pls try to notice that,and stop reprimanding her.

Im blessed with friends that care, and that will do small things to make me feel touched. You noe who u r, ppl like yvette,tat wee, ah girl, and well, too many to be mentioned.

Im blessed with my lovely sister and mummy, that love and cares for me non-stop for the past 21 yrs.

Wad can i say, im jus blessed! :)

1:46 AM

Sunday, May 20, 2007

18th May 2007
its my 21st bday..
Well, this birthday, i saw some real friends tt reali care, and though i got to admit, we ain't very close, but they took the hassel to make things happen on my birthday. it reali touched me man.

Its tat wee,ah girl and yvette.
yesterday, the tat wee suddenly called me to check my whereabouts in school.
Yvette followed up by calling me to go out of the class n meet up..
There when i walked out, they were outside e class wif a birthday cake, and sang a birthday song for me.
Wah im damn paiseh can..
Frankly speaking, to me, they are my polymates. We were in better terms few semester back, but in the recent semester, we didnt go for lunch as often due to our different scedules. And yet they bother to make this small celebration for me. Aww.. aint that sweet?
Man really touched me with simple stuff, jus the thought, and remembering my birthday..
thanks again guys!

Then, my classmates, they remembered my birthday.
Its peter, tini, shin yun, joel and wei bin.
We were in a course together, ya, so thats why we r together.
i got to be honest that we normally hanged out in different groups, me shinyun and the other guys hang out more often, while peter n gang join another group.
But mayb cos tis time we were in this course, we talked more, n ya, enjoyed time together more.
They too remember my brithday, and got the class to sing me a song, and ya, basically making me damn paiseh can.
But well, i appreciate, its the thought tt counts.. :)

Thursday im supposed to meet meiyi n gang. But well, think its my luck.
Birthday on friday, which means more when celebrating it on thurs nite.
All my friends hav work n school e next day, and i got to attend school for course too.
So well, i kinda lost my mood for birthday la..nothing to do also.
So after class,wanted to meet them just fr a simple dinner.
But everyone is tired, and aint free. So i pushed everything to saturday nite. Mood in e first place was partially crashed, and then the thought of causing hassel to them.. :S i tink cancelling it wil be good.

Well, anyway.
i tot i could being my bf to meet my frens for my birthday celebration.
I told them before hand, and they even encouraged, and acknowledged.
Then last minute, they asked me not to bring him along, said the gang felt akward.
of cos i cant, cos it wouldnt be nice for my bf also. so then i got this as a reply.
"then sorry lo, we have to cancel the celebration, cos the gang is against the idea."

Haa.. so much of my celebration wen i cant bring my bf? and when i suppose to be the main concern, why cant things go according to my wish? i dun understand. And even so, they should tell me earlier, and no last minute, and put me in a difficult position isnt it? and then got blamed for being a lousy friend. WOW oh wow.
and friday nite, once she heard that im gog fishing wif my bf n frens instead of my sister, she thought i should leave e time for them for my bday. yes, birthday is impt, but i like fishing too. im gog fr things i like on my bday, and wads wrong?

ok, mayb the problem really lies with me.
not being a friend.
sorry cos i really cant see wher my problem is.
i cant see e prob myself, can i?
i just feel alot of times, i got to do things that ppl like, think the way ppl think, otherwise grumblings start coming in again. sometimes, its tiring.

My bf is sweet. Yes, he tried to make my birthday something. When everyone is busy, no one doing my bday fr me, he brought me for dinner, bring me to mos, asked his few fren to join, and brought me a cake. i didnt wanna club. but theres reali nothing to do. And since ther is nothing much he can do, he duno much of my frens either, thats the best that he can do, to make it not tt cui.
He brought me my first fishing rod and reel. i have been hoping to go outsea fishing with gang for so long, and wanted to go fishing on my birthday. But previously, there's some prob some where. out usual boat was nt available. My sweet bf went looking fr boat high and low for me. called the boat man up to keep asking and all. So ya, managed to fished on friday night. Alot of other small small matters made my bf so sweet. i reali appreciate the thoughtful small things he did..

12:32 AM

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

i believe i havent been honest to myself for quite sometime.
i duno wads within me, but slight emo, slight emptiness.
Have been having cravings for beer quite often recently.
though im reali tired after a day in school, after a day at work, but i hate to turn in early.
Im in fact making myself more and more tired everyday.
Even im staying at home, i'll slack at my com, nt chatting, jus staring blank, and listen to songs.
Ya, thats how bored i am. Or should i say, tts how tired i am, but unwilling to close my eyes to rest.
Ya, i can even go kopitiam to drink up alittle, to ease my cravings.

Went mos on monday nite. I didnt wanna go at first, but well.. e girls complained that i havent been meeting them for vry long. So i tot i should go catch up a little. Yea.. Nice meeting them still.

Well, i noe there's no point in continuing, but i will still miss. That's normal i guess..
That day i saw Golden Pillow, then i rem some stuff..
Then i tot of wala, tot of lotsa.. But everything is under control la..
I hate to admit, but i tot i should be honest.
Honest, but i still really hate to talk about it.
Guess he is leading on well..
So he will not blow his temper too often, cos he doesnt have to travel so far, so his leg wun hurt for long distance drive. Petrol cost run lower.

I fear, i dun like to see an angry person, i prefer things to be solved by communication. I find quarrels, shoutings,scolding tiring.. I thought talking things out might work better. But apparently we cant. The more shoutings, the more grumpy face i see, the more i fear.

Well, i wanna go fishing!!!
I used to go fishing so often, and we both enjoy fishing alot..
I like the peace i have then, jus like fishing. I'm always waiting for the fish to hav their prawns..
haha..
But now :(

Jjacky said they wil plan a fishing trip soon. But im afraid if i go, he will then not go. I dun wan that man.. Somehow i wish to see him la.. i miss fishing wif him la..with the gang too.. Edwin bro and gang..

enjoy my SINGLEHOOD..I thought single then i should go out more often, noe more ppl. But apparently, i find myself reluctant la. Basically jus reluctant to meet and noe new ppl. Prolly bcos packed wif school work, packed wif work wif in e weekends. Available slots are only after school in e weekdays, but again, i'll b too tired then. I havent been resting much since 20th April? Its onli during 1st may i got to sleep till evening. But i feel its a waste la.. Shouldnt waste the time like this. I should go for some jog or swim yea?

Lalala.. Wait till i find time for myself again.
Oh ya! wad i lack is time for myself~
Relaxing alone sounds good.

Emo shit.. Haha..prolly meeting my sister soon, and drink after house viewing man.
Oh ya, she said we shall share and get mom a gold ring this mother's day!
In debt la.. Pay her after i start working..

3:16 PM